Saturday, July 31, 2010

Oi Fatty

 Well i have decided that is really about time that i thought about losing a little bit of weight!

Unfortunately putting on weight can be a side effect of a job such as mine if you don't keep an eye on what you eat and i was already heavy when i started.

Spending such large amount of time sitting in the car sometimes up to 70 hours a week, it doesn't leave a lot of time for exercise not that  you could be bothered most of the time as your legs get sore from all that sitting about and most of the time your just glad to get home at the end of the night!!

But for me my weight has now started to limit the amount of things i can do and affect my general health to the point where it even affects my work as well as what i do with my family.

So i have started a diet, well  more off an attempt to alter the  foods i eat and the amount than anything structured i figure one step at a time!!!

I have decided to keep a food diary so i can track what i eat and the calorie content of what i eat so i can ajust  things where needs be.

I have no doubt i will find this difficult as like a lot of obese folks i tend to eat out of habit and  when I'm bored. (yes i get bored a lot)

The last time i was weighted i clocked in at 200kg that was over a year ago, i think that i would be heaver than that now but part of the problem is its hard to get scales that can measure folk like myself.

So i will keep you posted on how i am doing, how badly I'm struggling and what if any weight i manage to shift.


Thursday, July 29, 2010

Bloody Woman Driver's

I hate women drivers!

I now remember why I prefer nights, WOMEN DRIVERS. Not all women drivers are totally incompetent, just the large minority of them!
The picture above shows how a woman parked her car in a car park on the Lisburn Road, need I say more? She claimed she didn't know she had gone over the other cars, did the fact the sky was coming down to meet her not give her any clues????
I know what you're thinking, "She's a woman driver, what's she talking about?" but I'm not a woman driver, I'm a Lady driver.
The big difference is
  • Lady drivers are capable of driving the car without endangering anything around them.
  • They can park without it taking 10 mins and a lot of going back and forward in the space
  • They can force their way out of the street on a busy day without waiting for a big enough gap in the traffic, let's face it in rush hour no one's going to leave a big enough space for anyone!
  • They have good spacial awareness so know when a gap is big enough to get into, I think many have never been lied to about the size of things!!!
I know someone who embodies the worst of all these traits.

First of all, she learnt to drive late in life, she was about 40. I congratulated her for doing it but when out on her first long trip after passing she went along the M2 at 30mph!!
She spent the whole journey being honked at and flashed dirty looks by fellow drivers, I was hiding behind my coat, the big man (who was in the rear seat) was screaming as other cars doing 70mph nearly cannoned into the back of us!!!
A few years later my son was able to correct her when for the umpteenth time that month she'd taken the wrong turn when going to Ballymena the wrong way up a one way street.
I wouldn't have minded but he was only 4yrs old and she'd been going there for at least that length of time.
When parking at her door she waits until there's a gap big enough for two cars and only then will park because if she doesn't it takes her at least 5 mins and about 10 lots of backwards and forwards along the same lines before she's satisfied the car's in the right place. It was OK the first time.
She also has no confidence when pulling out from a side street, once it took her almost 15 mins to do this as she didn't want to be pushy or get her car damaged! 
'People will stop if you give them no other option' I tell her, but maybe that's just the taxi driver in me bursting out.
She has also went up a one way street the wrong way, I was on my knees praying I wouldn't die too young or damage my pretty face.
Needless to say I don't go out with her that often anymore as my nerves are frayed by the time I get to the end of the street, what used to be a few times a week is now just once and only because I'm too lazy to do my shopping alone, although it would cost less if I did!

So to cap it all I hate incompetent women drivers and am looking for a support group for all victims of these women and some of the men drivers (may as well be women if they can't drive right)

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

aalreet lad

It was 10:30 on  Friday night and i had just slumped back in the car after putting in some fuel and grabbing a tin of cold beverage (non alcoholic) at wasn't very busy as yet so i was nice and relaxed.

My next job beeped over the datahead I was to pick up in blahblah street in 10 minutes time, i was only round the corner and decided that i would shoot on round hoping to get my punters out a bit early!!

My punter was out the in a flash i didn't even have time to put their call back threw.
Unfortunately this is where my problems began now i must confess i am not good with accents never have been  i even have trouble with folk who live anything more than 15 miles outside Belfast (culchies) so most misunderstandings are my fault.

 When the first words from the well groomed chap next to me where "aalreet lad" the first thought in my head was Shit he's a Geordie.

Now i don't have anything against the folks from Newcastle upon Tyne apart from there useless football team but good lord there accents are thick.

"Wahay haad on there's more lads te come leik" he said as i when to drive off. I managed this one quite quickly "stop there are more people coming" and sure enough after a few minutes wait the rest of his party arrived.

"ahm gannin te the lavitrey booza" 

I tried not to look confused figured that i would gamble and head for Laverys.
We where about half way to laverys when one of the blokes in the back piped up  " ah need the nettie"  i looked at him blankly.

"Git big fella is there anywhere wi can stop te use the nettie " Christ he was talkin to me!! instant panic set in i didn't want to look stupid like I didn't know what a nettie was!

So i said what any self respecting citizen of Belfast would have said i said "waaaaa"

The non anxious looking folks in the back seat where laughing, between chuckles one with thankfully a Northern Irish accent translated that his mate needed the loo preferably quickly as his head was starting to change to a very unattractive shade off purple.

Thankfully a local micky Ds was just round the corner and he didn't defecate the back of my cab!!

Nettie!!! I mean what the F**k use English at least give me a chance!!

Surely there's no worse accent than the Geordie accent?


Monday, July 26, 2010

Tantrums and Tiaras

As my auld fella had a rather boring weekend he says it's up to me to post again!

Most people are aware I'm sure that taxi drivers can whinge and moan with the best of them but on Saturday night I met the worst so far.

He had had a bad night, apparently nothing had gone right for him at all. (when does it ever? Poor wee diddums) He had jobs 'stolen' from him, people just not being there and the sin of all sins - people changing their destination when he had his sat nav plotted already, he even had to put more diesel into the car!!
He went on about all this for the 10 mins we were waiting on our fare (we were early) I couldn't get away. I was so thankful when they finally came out and I got away.
My relief was short lived, we had to pick up at our destination. We were early again so yet another 5 mins of his complaining and I thought women could go on about the same thing over and over again! I got away and made sure I avoided him for the rest of the night.

The rest of my night wasn't all plain sailing but I did get a few good runs.
Turned up to pick up at depot but they'd gone or been picked up by another cab, was about to go when a couple ran to ask if I could take them. Well who's going to say no, I had the choice of letting depot know others had gone and maybe getting a £4 run or taking this couple and getting £16! No contest.
At the end of my shift I was getting a snack at a garage when a nurse asked if I was booked and could I take her to Carrick, again a no brainer!

I did have the usual idiots who tried to get into the cab without checking I was for them and wondering why the door wouldn't open. Just a little tip, ask the driver first and you won't break the door or your fingers trying to get in as most keep their doors locked at night.

The funniest fare was a girl who had met a guy she'd went to school with and had had a major crush on, she was flattered that him and his friend were paying so much attention to her that she failed to notice that they were in fact a couple! She was sharing a taxi with them and going on about how great it was to meet up and they (her and the crush) should have lunch during the week. He was polite about it as he got out and said he would ring her to arrange a date. The last thing I saw of them was a heated discussion about the girl! 
She however was talking about how often she'd dreamed about being with him, somehow I don't think she stands a chance, I could see how much he was cringing in the back while she was talking and the friend whispering heatedly to him.
I wonder if she's found out yet? Who was I to tell her, she'll have forgotten about it by the morning.

The sad and most pathetic fare was picking up a guy who had been stood up by his girl. He had been away for a while and was the first night he'd been back. The poor wee lamb had waited for her for over 2 hours in the vain hope that she'd got the time wrong or maybe he was there early!
He looked ready to burst out crying and ranted about how cruel and uncaring women were, it was at this point he realised who he was talking to and was quiet for a while. Until 'she' rang to ask where he was as she was waiting for him. We hadn't went too far so went back to find that she still wasn't there, lying bitch!
He finally burst into tears going on about how she had always done this to him but she'd promised to change! Leopards don't change their spots, my advice was that he seemed a nice guy and could get someone much better than her.
I would tell her where to go but some guys just go back for more, I just don't understand it. I know it happens the other way around but I'd beat the crap out of anyone why tried that with me!

Thinking of opening up as relationship adviser, might be a good career move?

Saturday, July 24, 2010

why I love/hate my job - Mrsbelfasttaxi

                I love my job for a number of reasons the most important one being - IT'S NOT LIKE REAL WORK. I GET TO DRIVE ALL THE TIME AND TALK TO PEOPLE (a woman's favourite pastime, talking that is) and I get paid for it!!
                  I get to work the hours I want and don't answer to anyone (except the big man at home!)

  • I get to meet people from all walks of life and manage to escape unscathed!
  • I hear many interesting titbit's of info which, although I promise not to tell anyone they know I will certainly use as and when I see fit to without giving away identifying details.
  • I don't meet many of my customers often. It is embarrassing if I do when I'm not at work, they know me, talk away and I'm going inside "Who the hell are you? Do I know you from somewhere?"
  • When a man gets into the cab and calls me "mate" before looking and then spends the rest of the journey apologising, it's nice to see a guy grovelling makes my shift!
There are many more reasons why I love this job but can't think of more at the moment or can't print them!

I hate my job for fewer reasons but most of them I can print - Mainly sexist people who think women don't do the job and are surprised when I turn up!
  • I hate pukers in the cab, don't mind how many times they get me to stop so they can lean out or get out the door to be sick but hate when they just wind the window down to be sick out of. Don't want the side of the cab to be covered, I'd have to clean it! (the big man knows I don't do cleaning of cars. Had my 1st ever car for over a year before cleaning it!!)
  • Hate drunk little girls. Many are about 14 - 16 maybe first time out? "We're 18, honest!" (don't make me laugh) Usually the Odyssey in Belfast, but have drunk so much I sometimes worry what will happen to them. MAYBE I'M GETTING SOFT? Nah, more worried about what state my cab will be in when they get out!
  • People who insist I must be their taxi as they're the only one standing there.
  • People who think because I'm a woman I don't know how to do the job. They either want me to tell them the name I've to pick up and low and behold it'll be them or won't tell me a street name just an area and assume I don't know where the street will be in that area! (sometimes I don't Belfast is a big place)
  • People who think I care what's wrong in their lives. I do but only for re-tell sake, need something to talk about to pass a long journey that may resort in a long discussion on the subject.
Will probably come up with more reasons in the comming weeks as to why I love or hate my job but on the whole I love being a taxi driver!


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I dont wanna go

Have not had much to post recently mainly due to a general malaise, lack off motivation and anything to post about.

Taxi firms are having a fairly tough time off lately much like many other folks but this is really driven home on the twelfth fortnight when a lot of our wealthier and perhaps regular custom are on holidays.

I just cant bring myself  to drag my fat lazy carcass out the door when i know picking will be so slim.
So i am going to put my feet up chill out and enjoy my family who at times due to long hours sometimes have to work.

Will post again soon

Friday, July 16, 2010

Glad thats over!

Well thats another twelfth of July over with thank God!!
Working has nigh on impossible over the last week or so, when i have been out i haven't felt safe which is unusual for me.

I suppose what bothers me most isn't the lack of earnings its that people who would have came to visit Belfast might not bother now and lets face it based on whats been on the news the past few nights.

The real Belfast
But honestly we are not all nutters if fact very few of us are the fools who riot are mostly kids egged on usually by numptys who never leave there own wee area of Belfast so have a slanted narrow view off life.

Belfast really is a great place to live and work and damn it its a great place to visit for a weekend too just sometimes a few twats let the side down.
Suppose the only good thing is it reminds us off how far things have moved on
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