Thursday, November 12, 2009

Guess who poped in to my Local

Sean Bean AKA Sharpe, and your man from lord of the rings,
Hell of a suprise! Nice fella though

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Peter Griffin Omagh councillor!!!

Family Guy double 'to woo voters'

Ross Hussey
Ross Hussey said he cannot see any resemblance to Peter Griffin

A County Tyrone councillor's alleged resemblance to Family Guy character Peter Griffin could soon be appearing on election posters.

Omagh councillor Ross Hussey said he was told about his cartoon lookalike by his nephew and a young party colleague.

The Ulster Unionist said he was not flattered but it did amuse him.

"Personally I can see no resemblance, but I have watched it and we would have certain similar traits - that's all I'm prepared to admit to," he said.

"To be perfectly honest, I didn't know who this Peter Griffin was until my 23-year-old nephew and young Ryan who works here pointed out a resemblance."

Mr Hussey said they would have to wait and see if the poster was approved by his party.

Peter Griffin
Peter Griffin was elected to his son's school board.

"Really it's a bit of fun, and anything that could get young people interested in politics is good.

"If they can see that we are human and realise that we're not all God's gift, why not? There's enough serious things out there without adding to the worries of the world."

Mr Hussey's doppelganger has successfully run for office in the cult US comedy, defeating his wife Lois in a contest to become school board President.

Lois was also elected mayor in an episode titled It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Vortex cannon ya know you want one.

I have used a gadget one of these to annoy mrstaxidriver
by recking her hair but this would take her head off.


Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Absolute disgrace.

Mum fined for baby funeral goodbye

A grieving mother has been fined £86 by crematorium officials after she spent too long saying goodbye to her five-week-old child.Skip related content


Mum fined for baby funeral goodbye

Terrie Rouse was ordered to pay the penalty after she sat by her son Zane's coffin for an extra 10 minutes before watching it disappear through the curtains for cremation.

But she was left shocked when officials at the crematorium in Crownhill, Milton Keynes, told her she would have to pay for the extra time - at a rate of £8.60 a minute.

Ms Rouse, 32, told the Milton Keynes Citizen: "The vicar asked if I would like to spend a bit more time saying goodbye. I sat by the coffin for 10 minutes, telling my son how much we loved him and begging him not to be scared."

But her grief turned to anger when officials asked her to pay the £86.

Lee Smythe, Zane's father, who was cradling the little boy when he died at their home in Great Linford, condemned the penalty as "sick and disgusting".

He told the paper: "Terrie was weeping hysterically. She just wanted a few extra minutes to say goodbye to our much-loved little boy. How could anyone be cruel enough to charge for this?"

Officials from Milton Keynes Council, which runs the crematorium, routinely impose an extra charge if any funeral over runs its allocated half-hour slot. This is paid on top of the standard cremation fee.

The council has now refunded the charge, because of "extenuating circumstances".

A spokesman said: "We understand that sometimes more time may be preferred and so families are offered the chance to book extra time if they need it. This means when funerals that have not taken up this option over-run, a fee is automatically charged. However, when we learnt that there were extenuating circumstances we, of course, refunded the extra charge."

Couldn't believe this when i read it. Shows a real lack of compassion.


Friday, June 19, 2009

Mans best friend !! Nuts

Spotted this on the BBC website.

You thought mans best friend was a dog?

Nope its a squirrel!

Watch the video here.

Really made me smile.

Monday, June 08, 2009

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

Behold Miss Taxidrivers 1st attempt at growing her own veg!

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall has alot to answer for!

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Just a large puddle!

Hot, damn its hot!

Well it is if your a short fat little fella like myself.

I'm just not built for weather like this century's of natural selection has seen to that!

All my folks as far as i can trace them back have live on these hallowed isles mostly Ireland, mostly the cold wet north part call Ulster,

They for hundreds of years have thought to themselves where is the most dank wet cloudy place i can find,cos i wanna live there!!

Case in point about 120 odd years ago some ancestors move to Florida where they stayed a whole year before moving to Canada so they could freeze there butts off.

So I'm grumpy i never was fond of the hot weather even went i was skinny so now I'm pretty much ball shaped I'm suffering.
If this keeps up there will be nothing left but a rather large puddle.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

St Paddy's na rather not

Morning folks,

i ain't working today no how no way no chance i intend to spend today hiding safely in the house.

Today is one of the dreaded three day that only idiots, fools and really really skint taxi drivers work.

The dreaded three are of course St Paddy's day, the twelfth of July and the scariest of the lot Mothers Day.

The main reason we dread them so much is of course is that theres too much drink taken by those who normally don't drink and cant to handle it, not that I'm against alcohol but laying face down in a puddle of my own vomit while peeing myself ain't my idea of a good time.
Green vomit is damn hard to get out of back seat upholstery.

Nope I'm staying where its safe right here.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

skint again!!

Oh well another week over and once again we are left wondering why we bother!!

Sorry i don't mean to sound so pessimistic but ach its been one of those weeks haven't managed to put in a decent days work.

I had so many things i have had to do during the hours i normally would work, doctors, getting car serviced, getting counselling to help with shock of the price of getting the car serviced and time off due to lack of sleep!

I am not sleeping at nights for various reasons of which i wont bore you but need less to say i am in pain something i don't do that well, so i am being left unfit to drive.

Some would go to work anyway and i must admit i have been tempted but though better of it don't think Mrsbelfasttaxi would be happy if i rapped the car around a lamp post .
Shes pretty attached to the car!!

Anyway all the above has left us short of cash and me felling guilty despite the best efforts of my beloved. Thanks to her efforts we can pay the bills this week but due to my time off we have nothing left for spends which has been the case for a few weeks now.
Its just starting to get depressing i know struggling but its hard to take when you know its down to your lack of work.

Any way my next post will be about the day all taxi drivers fear and only the fool hardy work! MOTHERS DAY!! Lord even typing it makes me shudder.
till then

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Worst customer ever!!!

I like meeting different people its one of the reasons i do the job i do and i think for the most part i get on with the vast majority.

I have picked up everyone from high powered business men and the odd celebrity to O.A.Ps and homeless drunks.

They all get treated the same, well OK i don't help businessmen out of the car like i do with O.A.Ps but you know what i mean. I will do what ever i can to make the drive as pleasant as i can with in reason so long as it doesn't involve listening to country music.

There is one kind of customer that sends me over the edge though and makes me want ta hit them repeatedly with something heavy until there is nothing left but a bloody mangled corpse.
I hate people who look down on others,because they think there better that everyone else. Worst about these pompous twats is they come in all shapes and sizes and in all guises too.

The horrid auld crone i gone today took the biscuit, I arrived at her house in galwally about midday sent through call back to let her know that i was there and waited.
I was about to put it down as a no job when a middle aged lady open the door and shot me a dirty look, i thought OK i got a moody one here and decided to be polite but not to make much chatter.

Well furnished locking the 40 different locks on here front door and made her way to the car she then stood out side the car for about a minute.
At this point i thought i would ask if everything was alright i don't mind punter taken there time but this was starting to take the piss, it was at this point she informed me that she was waiting for me to open the door for her.

Its not locked i said then it clicked she as she looked at me with a look of sheer horror i was ment to get out of the car and open her door for her butler style!!!

I mean what the fuck, i have no problem helping anyone who needs it you know O.A.Ps and the disabled hell anyone who asks me nicely but to just expect someone to open the door for you because you think your special na don't think so.

The ignorant shite then spent the entire journey criticizing my car, my driving style, random people at the side of the road i never anyone with such an ego before or since.

At the end of the journey she made a point of handing me exactly the right change a whole £3 just in case i tryed to steal her penny's.

Still at least she was getting out although i though i might have to put my coat over the pavement so her feet didn't get wet!

Pray to God i never get her again

Rip off time again!

Not working today, going to get riped of again aka "get the car serviced" so wont have much to talk about later. If i can i will let you in on my worse customer ever.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Poor greek lady!!!

This morning at 5 am as i wedged my oversize bottom into cab i heard that another poor soul had his life taken from him by some very evil men, if i was depressed after what happen on Saturday night i was now in the depts of despair.

You see i love my country and more than that i love the people of my country no matter if they are on the green or the blue side of the divide,i have family on both.

The people of Northern Ireland and Ireland are for the most part friendly welcoming people who enjoy the company of others this may be one reason that Belfast has become 1 of the top 5 places folks from the UK head to for a weekend away.

I was touched today by a middle aged Greek lady who has lived here for about the last 15 years, she had not heard the news about the policeman killed last night and after hearing on the radio
she started to sob.

In the years she has lived here she fell in love with the people here and now thinks of Belfast as her home, she was frightened that the madness of the last few day would spread and she would have to leave.

Cannot help but think she loves this place and its peoples more than those indoctrinated murderer's could ever do.


Sunday, March 08, 2009

NO NO Not this again.......................

Two shot dead at Antrim army base

Massereene Army base in Antrim
It is believed that there were two long busts of gunfire during the incident

Two military personnel have been shot dead during a gun attack at an Army base in County Antrim, police said.

The Police Service of Northern Ireland said two further military personnel and two civilians, all believed to be male, were were in a serious condition.

The incident took place at the Massereene Army base in Antrim, 16 miles north of Belfast, at 2140 GMT.

Tonight a handfull of fools have tryed to drag both sets of people of this Island back too the dark dark days of are past. God willing they will not succed.

My thoughts and prayer are with they familys of those injured and killed.


Wednesday, March 04, 2009

£25 for a Lightbulb?

This morning i had to take my motor to the car dealership, like a lot of taxi drivers in Belfast and the rest of northern ireland i drive a Skoda Superb.

I have very few complaints about the superb its over all really quit a good car and plenty of space for passangers and there luggage but one of the few things that does piss me of is that its next to impossible to change the headlight bulbs yourself.

I spent and hour of my life in Mervyn Stewards dealership this morning! for any other car i have had changing the bulbs was a two minute affair and cost about 2 quid.

Being a taxi driver i don't like spending money (have been accused of squeaking when i walk) i think its a bit much to charge £25 to change a bulb and take an hour and a bit to do it!
But it was ether pay up or get out my socket set and try to figure out what the idiot who designed the headlight was up too and which drugs he was on at the time.

Oh well at least i will get to work tonight (joy)


Saturday, February 28, 2009

Bridesmaid never the bride!!

Well I'm sitting here trying to convince myself that i want ta go out to work tonight, which i don't but lets face i'll be going out anyway but i am gonna be bitter about it.

One of the few downsides to being a taxi driver is that your always the bridesmaid and never the bride.

Every weekend you go to more pubs , clubs and restaurants than you care to imagine but you never actually get to go to them. you may go in sometimes but only to drag some punter kickin and screamin form the bar.

Thought even when you do get a weekend off (which is rare as hens teeth now that things are so slow) the last place you want to go is the same places you've been to 50 times during the week.

I find it so hard to drag my fat ass into the city centre even to go shopping, this wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't so many restaurants in town i am bustin to try Ginger in hope street, Beatrice Kennedy's, Deane's bistro and Mourne seafood bar.

Friday, February 27, 2009

The oddballs are out !

Well thank god that's another nightshift over, how the hell did i manage to convince myself nights where a good idea?
Ach well at least it was the first busy ish night in the last few weeks so better not whinge too much might scare the money fairy away.
The worst part of the night was being messed around at the oddessy by punters on there way back form the darts.
How the hell do they fill a 6000 seater stadium to watch darts, boned if i know fat men watchin other fat men throw little bitsa metal yeah great!

The best part of the night was the goths punks and other so called wierdos, well weird some of them may be but there also fantastic craic, never any hassle ether.

It has to be said that they are most friendly bunch your likely to pick up. (well you do get the odd one who has the whole my parents don't get me thing going on, You're 16 of course your parents don't get you i would fluckin worried if they did!).

Right better get sum shut eye

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Back on the nights

Oh well its back on the nightshift form me even if it just for a couple of nights.

Back to dealing with drunks, folks stinking of kebabs, people being sick in the back of the car and of course the taxi drivers fav the spide.

A spide another way of describing the scummy bastards who hang around the street corners of belfast with plastic bags full of glue up their sleeves. They would steal the teeth from your head to fuel their sad little existences.
Dresscode = tracksuits, sovereigns + piss-stains.
One of gods worst creations after cancer.
Still what you gonna do?

Well y not make yor own spide?
Can you tell i like nights?


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Why do i bother,

What a day.
Do you ever get one of those days that makes you wonder why you forced your fat lazy arse outta bed?

Well needless to say today was one of those days one of those days where everything bothers you even the stuff that you normally rise above without thinking about it.
Every thing got on my tits today well moobs, traffic was terrible i normally skip round this with ease driving so much you soon learn which routes are less congested ha ha not today every time i tryed to avoid the cues i just made it worse.

Also i kept gettin docket jobs which i am usually happy to get, hey its money in the bank for next weeks depot rent. Trouble is i needed cash today running real low in danger of having to watch footy in the house ( this must be avoided unless you fancy commentating and explaining whats going on). But after working from five this morning until ten forty five i have reach the grand total of £1.50 cash i swear i was ready for crying.

So being the mature grown up that i am i thought to myself sod this for a game of marbles and threw my head up and went home in a massive sulk!
Thing is though my takings has been going down for a bout 1 1/2 years now and something has to be done!

Oh well don't think it can be much worse so i am going on to nights for the rest of the week just to see if things are as bad on that shift.

But it has one advantage there little traffic at night:)


Monday, February 23, 2009

What is it about shaved heads?.

Well you would think that i having two lady's rub your head would be nothing to gripe about and i gotta admit that a head massage can be very nice.
But it cant be a pain in the arse when your driving, its shall we say just a smidge distracting!

You would think that distracting the driver as he races through the narrow streets of Belfast is not something ya would want to do. I mean sure I'm probably the world third greatest driver (1st M.Schumacher,2nd The wee woman with the big stick wifee) but like most fellas i will make mistakes if distracted. (just ask the wife)

Anyway just touchin someone without asking is just fuckin rude and even worse if they are at work, yet this happens all the time when i am out on nightshift.
I don't mind a bit of a laugh with the punters it part of what i enjoy about my job. But if i was to walk in to any bar in Belfast and start rubbing the staff shoulders or head i reckon i would be in damn hot water!!
So how about we make a deal if you don't touch me i wont break your fingers!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

About bloody time!!

Well i though it was time for my biannuial post so here it is.

Na just messin really must make the effort.

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