Tuesday, December 21, 2010

20 ways to annoy friends and family at Christmas.....

   1. Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor.

    2. Go to the shopping centre with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.

3.Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.

    4. Squat in a corner rocking back and forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."
5. Hang mistletoe in the doorway. When anyone enters or leaves the room, plant a big wet one on his/her lips.
6. Hang a stocking with your roommates name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say "you've been very naughty this year."
7. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.
8. Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (i.e., "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.")
9. Contuinuously sing Millenium Prayer, the Cliff Richard version.
  10. Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two front teeth..." Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.
11. Build a snowman with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically"it didn't work!"
12. Whip your roommate screaming "now Dasher, now Dancer, now Donna, and Blitzen, etc."
13. Tear down all your roommate's Christmas decorations yelling "Bah Humbug!"
14. Wake up every morning screaming "Ghost of Christmas Future, please have mercy on my soul!" (The Lords Of Darkness apply here too...)
15. Tell your roommate you're moving out. Santa's buying you a house on 34th Street.
16. Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.
17. Ring jingle bells maniacally saying "every time a bell rings an angel gets his/her wings."
18. Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up sing, "he sees you when you're sleeping..."
19. Steal a life size nativity scene and display it in your room. When your roommate asks, tell him/her "I had to let them stay here, there's no room at the inn."
20. When your roommate goes to the bathroom, rearrange his/her possessions. Tell him/her that Santa's elves must have done it.

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