Thursday, December 02, 2010

Face Plant.....

I was still in bed when downstairs it sounded like someone was trying to kick my door in.

After flopping about for a few for a few seconds like an upturned turtle I managed to make my feet and tramped of downstairs to see what the problem was, as I wrenched open the front door some bloke who was all to happy for this time of the morning (11:45am) smiled at me and asked if i would mind moving my cab so he could get his lorry passed.

This happens all the time as I live in a narrow street ,but normally my better half who doesn't work nights would take care of it.

He was told that I would be a few minutes as I wasn't about to brave the icy world outside in my boxers and a t-shirt.

So after hurrying up stairs and clambering into a pair of comfy trackies,some fluffy socks and my new sneakers i made my way outside.

All was going well right up until I  managed to stand on a near invisible patch of ice at which point the world without any warning went sideways leaving me to play catch up.

I reconnected with mother earth with a hell of a thump but on the plus side for once having a massive gut came in handy, yes i still hit the ground damn hard buggering up my right arm but my large gut stopped me from ramming into the ground face first.

Now I am no oil painting but i am pretty sure I would look worse without teeth!

You would think the worst was over by now wouldn't you?

I did!

But no lying on my belly i tried to push my self upright, I found out I was still on the same sheet of ice and there was nothing i could do but crawl yes crawl dear reader to a dry piece of earth several yards away so i could get up.

Where was the happy smiley lorry driver as you flapped helplessly trying to get up i hear you ask?

Standing watching me like a gormless twit and doing fook all to help obviously.

So next time i am staying in my warm bed and the gobshite can reverse up the street if he cant get passed!

Ps: Mrs.BelfastTaxi is feeling much better now i know this cos she is whinging again and giving me orders, but it will be a wee while before the hospital lets her loose again.

PPs: She says thanks for all your kind wishes and prayers.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like Chicago. I've never lived in a place that congested, but I've visited a couple of such places.

    Last time I got tossed in jail, the "elect Obama" folks were out at about 10:00 am, bound and determined to get everyone down and outside so they could tell them to vote for Obama. I'd been asleep about 2 hours after a hard Friday night of driving cab. They said that if I wasn't happy and smiling, they'd call the cops. They did, and it cost me the better part of the day and a couple of hundred bucks. Needless to say, I'll NEVER vote for that bastard Obama.

    Have a safe one.


Talk to the cabby??

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