I was still in bed when downstairs it sounded like someone was trying to kick my door in.
After flopping about for a few for a few seconds like an upturned turtle I managed to make my feet and tramped of downstairs to see what the problem was, as I wrenched open the front door some bloke who was all to happy for this time of the morning (11:45am) smiled at me and asked if i would mind moving my cab so he could get his lorry passed.
This happens all the time as I live in a narrow street ,but normally my better half who doesn't work nights would take care of it.
He was told that I would be a few minutes as I wasn't about to brave the icy world outside in my boxers and a t-shirt.
So after hurrying up stairs and clambering into a pair of comfy trackies,some fluffy socks and my new sneakers i made my way outside.
All was going well right up until I managed to stand on a near invisible patch of ice at which point the world without any warning went sideways leaving me to play catch up.
I reconnected with mother earth with a hell of a thump but on the plus side for once having a massive gut came in handy, yes i still hit the ground damn hard buggering up my right arm but my large gut stopped me from ramming into the ground face first.
Now I am no oil painting but i am pretty sure I would look worse without teeth!
You would think the worst was over by now wouldn't you?
But no lying on my belly i tried to push my self upright, I found out I was still on the same sheet of ice and there was nothing i could do but crawl yes crawl dear reader to a dry piece of earth several yards away so i could get up.
Where was the happy smiley lorry driver as you flapped helplessly trying to get up i hear you ask?
Standing watching me like a gormless twit and doing fook all to help obviously.
So next time i am staying in my warm bed and the gobshite can reverse up the street if he cant get passed!
Ps: Mrs.BelfastTaxi is feeling much better now i know this cos she is whinging again and giving me orders, but it will be a wee while before the hospital lets her loose again.
PPs: She says thanks for all your kind wishes and prayers.