Tuesday, February 09, 2010

What not to do in a Taxi.

At the risk of sounding like a right grumpy ould shite i thought i would put together a short list of what not to do in the back of a cab.

This one i a bit obvious i know but you would be surprised the number of sneaky gits who try even though they know its illegal but try any how. If your caught its a £50 fine for you and £2000 fine for me.

I know this can sound petty but it does make an awful mess of the seats and makes the cab smell for the next punters. (Plus being a fat lad if the cab stinks of take away the next punters assume it was me who stunk the place out). Ether eat up before getting in i will wait or save it till i get you home.

3. Try not to be Sick!!
If I'm picking you u to go to the doctors or hospital and your under 10 i will cut you some slack on this one as you don't really know better, but if your just so pissed that you just cant keep the contents of you guts where it should be at least warn me your about to chuck your ring so i can pull over. That way you can decorate the pavement and not the inside of the motor thus avoiding upsetting me and you paying vast amounts of money to get the cab cleaned .

The reason for this one is simple i have never heard of anyone being tinned but i have heard of folks getting bottled.

By which i mean don't use the flash on you mobile phone camera, two reasons 1 at night while driving a sudden blinding light from behind can scare the shit out of the driver and worse case cause him to crash, 2 Those flashes look very like the flash on road traffic cameras and will scare the driver into thinking he has another 3 point on his licence.

6. Don't bring me in on your arguments,
I will only take the side of whoever is paying or supporting Arsenal.

The reason for this is it distracting even though i will try to ignore you all the slurping and smacking and other noises are hard to ignore besides would you do the same thing on a bus or train. Have a wee bit of decorum no one mind a long kiss goodbye but there no need to try to eat you girlfriends face.

Me that is. I like many balding men have my head shaved for some reason some lady's think that its ok to reach around the headrest and rub my head ether to try to embarrass me in front of there mates or just cause the like how it feels! Its not that i don't like it but it puts me off my driving and lets face it if i reached over and touched you without permission its called sexual assault!


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