Monday, September 27, 2010

Squeaky bum time

I have no idea where nearest garage and the fuel gauge says i only have 5 miles left.

How did i end up like this?

Why was i stupid enough to take a run into the backside of nowhere without checking i had enough fuel?

Well first things first it wasn't my fault it was my customers fault, the customer may always be right but that doesn't mean its not there bloody fault.

It was about 3am when i was given the fare which was heading to Ballynahinch, a nice little run so i was well chuffed.

I knew i was a little light on fuel so flicked the car display over to see what fuel i had left in the tank.

45 miles it read.

Ballynahinch is only about 14 miles so I though I was sorted.

I pick up four people and scoot out towards ballynahinch it was a fairly uneventful journey so i wont bore you with details.

The main topic of conversation was horsies!

I know nothing of horsies so I kept quiet,  I did managed not to shout there called horses stop talking like your 4 years old.

Anyhoo we arrive in B,nahinch and I'm all ready to take there lovely money when only two punters get out!

Now i can be a wee bit slow sometimes but i am bloody sure i checked they where only going to B,nahinch

Apparently not!

Dromore please diver.

Shit that's another 15 miles away!

Ok clam down you have 30 miles left we can get to Dromore and find a garage not a problem.

15 miles later we are rolling through Dromore, my fuel read out how ever has dropped to 10 miles i can only guess that driving on windy back roads uses more fuel than nice civilised duel carriageways.

I ask my punters to keep me right to where they are going, while my grandparents where from dromore my knowledge of dromore ends at "i know where it is!"

So we are heading back out the other side of town in to the country, on roads that make the road from B,nahinch look like a new motorway.

It was kinda like a rollercoaster full of sudden dips, sharp hidden turns and screaming passengers.

After what seems like ages we arrive at their front gate which as it turns out is about a mile from their house up a very potholed path.

My victims sorry punters finally get out and God bless em they tip well.

I am not in the back of beyond with 5 miles of fuel in the tank and i have no idea where the nearest bloody garage is.


My first instinct was to head back to Dromore i knew  there is a petrol station there even though i'm kinda sure it's shut at 4am.

I was right.

The only garage i know for sure will be open is Sainsbury's at Sprucefield.

I got to make a run for it.

Now theres a few things you need to know.

1. running out of fuel for a cabby is embarrassing and shouldn't happen, sure i could probably summon help but i would be hearing about it for months.

2. I drive a diesel motor if i do run out of fuel  i just cant pop in some more fuel oh no its not that easy, i would have to get towed to a garage so as they can bleed fuel back in to the engine.

Which would cost a bomb!

So with 10 miles to the nearest source of fuel and bugger all in the tank but fumes it begins.

Squeaky bum time.

I am desperately trying to think of way i can save precious fuel so i can eek out every last centimetre of distance so of goes the radio and the air conditioning.

I soon regret turning the radio off not because of the silence, no because now i am managing to convince myself that i can hear funny noises from the engine.

I have even resorted to driving at 56 miles per hour because that the most economical speed to drive at.
(part of me is a bit worried i know that)

9.5 of the slowest most nerve wrecking miles of my life later and my salvation comes into site over the crest of a hill.

I am within the last 100 yards as my poor wee starving motor coughs for the first time.

Thankfully i could coast the last few yards.

I was happier than a fat kid in a sweetie shop never mind slightly relieved.

After putting in a tenners fuel in the fuel light was still on but it was enough to get me home.

So if you want a rush for get roller coasters and bungee jumping and just try getting to the garage when you low on fuel!!



  1. That's a tough job you have there!

  2. To be fair i sometimes make it difficult all by myself.

  3. Great story, glad it worked out for you! My family are from Dromore too. Small world!


Talk to the cabby??

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