Feckin Con Artists

I was talking to a fellow drivers last night.

One of a taxi drivers main hobby's is gossiping and as it was quiet we where having a right wee natter.

We had already exhausted all the usual subjects (football,rugby,football,Wayne Rooney and of course football)

and had now started telling story's about who had the worst customers in the last few weeks.

The winner with out a doubt was Bob.

Bob had caught a couple out a couple who had schemed up a way of getting their taxi home cheep if not free.

The story goes back a few months before when bob just started on the night shift.

He got a pick up from outside inn shops on high street heading to lisburn.

When he arrived he picked a well dressed couple in their 30s who where i am told to all intents and purposes very friendly.

Once they had settled themselves in the back seat they asked to be taken to Lisburn and the best way for bob to go was straight up the motorway as it would be clear this time of night.

Well off they went bob in the front following the instructions given and them in the back attempting to swallow as much as they could of the other ones face.

All was good until they where passing the turn off for Dunmurry, when at the last possible moment the guy yell out to take the Dunmurry exit.

Trouble was that bob was doing 70mph so there was no hope of him making the turn.

Bob being the gentle kinda fella apologised for not making the turn as he was going to fast when they told him to take it and besides they had told him to take the motorway straight to Lisburn.

It was now the verbal started about how taxi drivers kept trying to rip them off and all drivers where bastards out to rob as much as they could.

This continued for the next few miles until they arrived on the outskirts of Lisburn.

Once they had left the roundabout at the motorway and where back on normal roads the girl demanded that Bob stop the car.

Once pulled over to the side of the road she jumped out of the car still yelling and shouting.

Both of them insisted they where not paying the fare as they where still miles from their home but would not get back in the taxi with someone who was doing his best to rip them off.

Well they where making such a scene and bob at this point thought he had made a mistake not leaving the motorway at Dunmurry.

So he decided he had had enough, told them to shove the money and left them where they stood.

Bob grumped and huffed his way back to Belfast but though no more of it.

No more of it until last week that is.

Bob gets a job picking up at Kelly cellars.

Who should walk out but his two friends who made such a fuss on the way to Lisburn that night.

Letting bygones be bygones he didn't mention the indecent

(something most drivers myself included wouldn't do)

But took a real interest when they told him they where for Lisburn and to take the motorway all the way!

He had a sneaking suspicion what was about to happen.

Sure enough they where all goodness and light until just to late the told him to take the Dunmurry turn off.

Bob smiled as the verbal abuse which he thinks freaked them a little but be fair bobs gap tooth smile would make anyone uneasy.

They arrived at Lisburn where they demanded to be let out as they where not paying someone who was ripping them of by going the wrong way.

Bob told us there faces where a picture when he told them he wasn't buying it as this was the second time they had pulled this on him.

But it gets better.

Who should drive down the road towards them?

The cops.

Bob waved them over, but before he could explain what was happening the copper turned to him and said so are these two up to their stunts again.

Supposedly they did this nearly every time they got a cab from Belfast as they lived walking distance from the motorway exit.

It turned out they didn't have any money on them so the nice police men escorted them to the nearest ATM and insisted they pay for the earlier trip as well.

It was about now Albert's data head beeped one of us had a job at last so meeting over.

Albert's job was picking up Mal Mansion going Lisburn but i am told it wasn't them.