Sad taxi drivers joke of the week - no 5

The Queen visits a army hospital and visits ward A.

Inside is a Scots soldier lying on his front with a cage and a blanket over his bum.

The Queen turns to the Sergeant Major who is escorting her through the hospital and asks:
“Sergeant, what is this soldier in hospital for?”

"Ma'am he is suffering from a terrible case of piles."

"Oh dear" replies the Queen "And what’s the treatment for that?"

"Wire brush and Dettol three times a day".

Turning to the soldier she asks " And do you have any ambition left in life?"

"Aye Ma'am, I want tae beat this terrible affliction and get back to serve you my Queen and Country" he replies

"That's very commendable of you " she says and pins a medal of honour on his bum.

She moves onto the second patient and asks the Sergeant Major “What is this man in for?"

“I’ve no sympathy for this man, a self-inflicted wound, he has a venereal disease.”

"And what’s the treatment for that?"

"Wire Brush and Dettol three times a day, Ma’am".

"Oh how nasty... poor man's willy must be in tatters!"

Turning to the soldier she asks "If you had one wish, what would that be?"

" Ma'am, I want tae beat this terrible affliction and get back to serve you my Queen and Country" he replies

"That's very commendable of you " she says and pins a medal of honour on his chest.

She moves onto the last patient and asks him “What are you in hospital for?"

The soldier replies in a croaky voice "Tonsillitis"

The Queen, quite relieved asks "And what’s the treatment for that?"

"Wire Brush and Dettol three times a day ma'am "comes the croaky reply"

"Oh, but isn’t that awfully painful?" She gasps.

"Whatever it takes to beat this affliction and get back to serving My Queen And Country" He Says Proudly

"And Do You Have any ambition left in life?" she asks.

#

#

#

#

#

#

#

#

"Aye," the man replies "I like to get the Wire brush and Dettol before those two other dirty bastards!!!"